Saturday, October 17, 2009

In deep mourning.....

Some where along the way, the past few years, I have lost my babies. It kind of makes me resentful. Maybe I am not the only Mom to have said this? I feel like it. You know? Then of course the guilt creeps in. UGH...

Where did those little boys go? Those baby laughs, soft baby hair that is oh so kissable. Those chubby legs and cheeks? Those precious little toes and feet that you just have to kiss, and make them laugh. I miss that! It is all replaced by grouchy, cynical, crackly voiced, hairy men like creatures. I can't get used to Brody's man voice. Chance's feet being bigger than mine, and Brody's feet are bigger than Pa's. And the icing on the cake. Chance is taller than I am. I know it does not take much, me being 5'3", but still!! It just ain't fair.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am in no way, shape or form wanting to procreate again, I just would like a time capsule to look in, just a bit, to have those moments back. Not a video, no, a touch, smell, or kissing those cheeks kind of moment. Time speeds by all too quickly. Brody asked last night, to my dismay. "OK, I am going to be 16 next month Mom, do I get to date?" Umm, well, I guess that is what we always said. I told hubby. He said, "no, he has to wait til he's 18." Oh, now that will sit just right, with that cynical young man. "You tell him.", I said.

Nor does this has nothing to do with the fact that I am menopausal, so get that out of your mind. RIGHT NOW! You just realize it, all of a sudden like. Bam, they are gone. Those moments are gone. Time is fleeting. Next thing I know, I will be blogging about empty nest syndrome. But, for now, I will just keep moaning about driving lessons, "Mom, can I borrow the car?", and all that other drivel, for which teens are all about. Can you order 10 cheeseburgers for me, please? I'm starving! Gulp, help? Anyone?

So, for all of my pain and anguish, I am giving away a pattern. My latest one. Place in the comment box, just when you realized your babies were gone. No kids? Well, I dunno what to tell you. Just leaving your condolences will be nice. And a donation perhaps, to my empty nest syndrome, gotta re decorate fund.

Love y'all!
Sue

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